Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didn't notice because vodka
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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