put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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