I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize