You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize