I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize