I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize