Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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