Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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