I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize