I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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