could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
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I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
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I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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