this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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