Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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