I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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