I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize