How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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