doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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