Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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