I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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