When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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