Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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