I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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