Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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