You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize