Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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