what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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