I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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