Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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