Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize