Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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