I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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