i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize