Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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