guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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