my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize