Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize