My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize