McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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