So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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