remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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