so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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