I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize