Girls should come with a carfax report
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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