she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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