don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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