Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize