You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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