He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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