is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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