Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize